The Fabricated Goddess

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Half A Night's Sleep.....

Last night I had one of those nights. You know? Where you go to bed, fall asleep fine, and wake up two and a half hours later for no apparent reason. Then you lay in bed for two, maybe three and a half (who's really counting) hours hearing every little night sound (reads: every downtown asshole and junkie walking by your conveniently located stones-throw-from-downtown house, you know, smashing bottles and yelling shit) feel every twitch and think about every thing that ever did and ever will happen in your lifetime. And if your me, you can throw in the inexplicable neurotic itch factor. I shall call it the "jimmy itch". This is where your body randomly decides to itch not only spontaneous but also simultaneously all over, forcing you to start scratching like a monkey. In the middle of the night. While trying not to wake your spouse. Charming, no? Here's the list: (you knew I'd get there eventually) -Fret endlessly about the unfolded/unwashed laundry. And the fact that there is an entire beach bag (don't ask) of socks I've neglected to match up. Why can't they just match themselves? -Compile a list of to-dos while berating self for not having done everything there ever was to do already. C'mon kid, get with the progam this stuff won't do itself. -Worry that I'm looking old. More lines, more grays....ACK is that some saggy skin? Those dark circles under my eyes are actually bags? No wonder I can't camoflage them with coverup! What? I'm only 36! Wait. I'm 36? When did that happen? Seems like I was just 27 yesterday. Oh, right. That was before I had children and had my brain SUCKED INTO A GIANT VACUUM OF SPACE AND TIME!!! I've been home for almost a decade taking care of my family AND LOOK WHAT IT"S DONE TO MY FACE! By the time I am ready to get on with my life, it'll be half over or more. OH GOD! -Ahem -Worry that I'm doing everything half assed. Housekeeping? Sucks. Schooling Ethan? Oh yeah, totally screwing him up, I'm sure. Artistic endeavours? What are those....I'm pretty sure the painting and sewing part of my brain has shrivelled up and died. Writing? Oh why bother. The best I can come up with is this blog which I think a reader once summed it up best when they said, "Hey I read your blog. Sometimes there's some funny stuff in there." Ooookay, let's see, what else am I bad at. Acting? Ha! Got a small part in a one act play. Which I'm postive I suck at. Wait, I don't suck....I'm "okay". Now if only I could remember my lines. -Worry that the small bump just right of my chin is a carcinoma of some kind. -Worry that I'm drinking too much wine. But seriously, you try staying home all the time, and being responsible for everything. Schooling. Housework. Cooking. Laundry. Scheduling and transportation of all small people to all extra curricular activities. Discipline. Can't let them turn into jevenile delinquents. Because we all know that it's the mother who gets blamed for this stuff. It's always the mother. Heart palpitating, having trouble breathing. Wait. Maybe my problem is I'm not drinking enough wine? -Must.Learn.Lines. -Make a note to look into facial excercises to fight the signs of aging. -Look into herbal sedatives. Yes. Great. Good. -Or tranquillizers. -Worry that my children are not getting enough attention. Or excercise. -Worry that all this worrying and not sleeping is making me LOOK EVEN OLDER. -Wonder why I only worry about this stuff IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. Dunno. Just seems more convenient.


  • you, my dear, are just exactly who I need to re-learn to drink copious amounts of alcohol with.
    seems my last time with wine was with you in Ottawa, and then we went to hear Great Big Sea (after seeing your great big ass)
    and I laughed until I cried
    and have been hopelessly un-whole since.

    you crack me up.

    at least your small part in the play did not have you wearing a bad green dress, on a green chair (same, exact shade) against green wallpaper so that no one who saw the play even remembers you were in it.

    By Anonymous kristina campbell, at 9/18/2007 12:29:00 p.m.  

  • Ahh, Kristina, my dear friend. You are so right. Seems I'll never out live Erin exposing my great big ass (could we put the emphasis on GREAT and not BIG?) What was he thinking?


    He wasn't.

    And we did laugh.....I'm still laughing in fact.

    Somehow, I feel much better now....

    By Blogger Fabricated Goddess, at 9/18/2007 02:15:00 p.m.  

  • Thanks Michelle..I believe I just spent the last two nights doing the same thing. It didn't help that I wasn't in my own bed but at my parents. I had the sounds of crickets and combines in the back drop. Not to worry about the lines or greys I couldn't see them!

    By Anonymous Ginny, at 10/08/2007 12:15:00 p.m.  

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