The Fabricated Goddess

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Rabbit VS. Dog....

FROM: Rabbit Rescue - ICU TO: Patient's Family and/or Care-Givers SUBJECT: Bunny Discharge and After-Care instructions Dear Family and Friends of Bunny, We are pleased to inform you that Mr. Rabbit has survived his injuries and is ready to go home. He was an excellent patient and bravely faced all 'doggie-injury' related treatments with dignity and grace. Several staffers here have greatly succumbed to his charms, so much so that they briefly considered keeping him here at the hospital indefinitely. Mr. Rabbit kindly and good naturedly assured us that, while he was flattered by all offers of full time employment at Rabbit Rescue and free cookies, he did, in fact, very much miss his family. As you can see, his transplant was a great success. That being said, we would like you, his family and care-givers to note that he is not out of he woods yet - no pun intended. We do our best here at Rabbit Rescue to ensure that all transplant recipients receive a full course of anti-rejection treatments following all transplant procedures. However, the following is a list of considerations as you care for Mr. Rabbit in the future. 1. Although his transplant was successful, we would recommend the gentlest of washing from now on. He is no longer a wash and wear bunny. Generally, a good soaking in cool water followed by gentle squeezing will dislodge any grime and leave him smelling remarkably fresh. He should then be allowed to air dry completely. The dryer should be a last resort. 2. Should any of Mr. Rabbit's newly translanted part show signs of rejection (ie. looseness, split seams, exposure of stuffing) he should be returned immediately to Rabbit Rescue for further testing and procedures. 3. Lastly, and no doubt most importantly: Under no circumstances should Mr. Rabbit be left unattended in the presence of Mr. Dog. This third and last instruction must be strictly observed. Mr. Rabbit lost a significant amount of his original fur in the most recent scuffle with Mr. Dog and it is our evaluation that, should his original fur sustain any further damage, he may, indeed, be beyond our capabilities at Rabbit Rescue. In closing, we would like to whole heartedly thank you for choosing Rabbit Rescue. We strive to offer the highest quality of care to your loved ones and it was a distinct honour for you to entrust us with your precious Mr. Rabbit. While we look forward to being able to serve you again soon, we realize that the happiest of times would include not needing Rabbit Rescue's services any time in the foreseeable future. Kindest Regards, The Staff and Management at Rabbit Rescue Hospital P.S. Please find attached copies of Mr. Rabbits discharge photos.

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